#pain

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healing our shadow & stepping into real power

Our Shadow side comes forward to allow us to heal deeply. I have seen the best, most loving, most vulnerable and the absolute worst, hateful, and fearful people this week.  These past few weeks, between the lunar eclipse on the Full Moon (August 7, 2017) and the upcoming Great American Solar Eclipse on August 21, 2017 have really exposed our shadow side here in the US.  And not in just what the goings on in our world, but also as individuals within our own space and person. What shadow has been peeking through lately?  Has it been showing up as frustration, anger, fear, isolation, or avoidance behaviors with yourself or others. Shadow is coming up now because it is ready to be healed. You might be feeling a finality and/or a total intolerance for behaviors or patterns that normally you’d just let go by. This is healing. Enough is enough.  You are now ready to say, “What can I do?”  “What needs to change for me and those close to me?” “How do I move forward with more courage, love, and compassion?” These are awesome questions.  ALWAYS.  They are really crying out to be worked with now. This is what an eclipse does.  It is a catalyst and exposer.  It shows us what isn’t working and collapses it. Healing shadow is deep and tough work.  Dude, I know.  We like to keep that shiz buried and we don’t even want to acknowledge how it shows up in our selves.  It’s shows up in our negative self-talk, our greed, our anger, our ignorance, and in our avoidance. We pretend we didn’t hear that comment. We avoid that tough conversation with our neighbor about them ignoring the boundaries and rules of our community. We allow things to happen that are not in [...]

just a dust bunny? Or something more?

I love words. I especially love the exploration of words of a different language. What other people call things is intriguing to me. Do you all have this fascination as well? Comment below with your favorite word or phrase from another language. Dust bunnies. You know those little bits of yuck...hair, dust, skin flakes (yikes!) and goodness knows what else, gathering under beds and in dark corners. What a constant nuisance. Can't someone event a dust bunny buster?  Or declare a no gathering zone? I'd love it. Spring is just about here, so Spring Cleaning is on my mind. I am going to dig in and prep and enliven my home for the coming of the light and beauty that the newness Spring brings. There will be dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing, cleaning....and then clearing, smudging, and blessing the energy of the house. Yes, sage will be involved, as well as salt, fire, and water. So, what do you think they call dust bunnies in other places? Here's some info from Wikipedia: In Danish they are called "nullermænd" ("nuller-" from the verb "nulre", meaning to move something between one's fingers, and "-mænd" meaning "men") In Finnish they are called "villakoira" (meaning: wool dog) after the language's nickname for the actual dog breed poodle In French they are called "moutons" (meaning: sheep) In German they are called "Wollmäuse" (meaning: wool mice) In Hungarian they are called "porcica" (meaning: dust cat) In Norwegian they are called "hybelkaniner" (meaning: "lodging bunnies") In Polish they are called "koty" (meaning: cats) In Portuguese they are called "cotão". The Scots word is "oose" In Spanish they are called "pelusa". In Swedish they are called "dammråttor" (meaning: dust rats). Cats, bunnies, rats, sheep...seems like everyone knows of these little guys. Not sure if I understand the Danish 'moving men'...unless [...]

join the FEAR fan club?!?!

{originally published in Sibyl Magazine- for the spirit and soul of a woman October 2016} My stomach starts turning back flips.  My mind starts playing that old familiar track.  It’s on a loop.  Sometimes even get that bitter burst of adrenaline in my mouth and the racing heart.  I get lost in the story.  I drop right down into that dark chasm of chaos, defeat, and despair.  Where nothing works out and there’s only one solution and it ends in horror. What’s the cause of all this?  Fear. And why, exactly, am I in the Fear Fan Club?!?  Am I crazy?  Let me tell you why FEAR is one of our greatest teachers. It’s a signal to me that I’m out of my comfort zone or out of balance.  Being able to know that I am in either one of these places is good information for me to consider and take inspired action on.  If I’m out of my comfort zone, am I heading to where I want to go?  Or am I going in the wrong direction?  The signs of fear that are coming up are telling me to pay attention-- I’m heading into unfamiliar territory.  Good to know.  But maybe it is a place I want to go to—I just never been there before.  If fear is coming up because I’m out of balance, then I can realign myself with what is really true.  Somehow I’ve gone off track.  I’ve lost trust, love, and my inner knowing somewhere and I need to reconnect. Fear is information from your Being that some sort of action needs to be taken.  It might be to run away from that charging bear or to take direct steps to release you from the stranglehold that fear can have on you.  Fear is a [...]

You’re the uniting force

We as Boss Ladies, Mothers, Dreamers, Partners, Friends, Coworkers, Neighbors, Citizens, Creators, Lovers, Warriors, Mystics and Goddesses have a powerful magic available to us.  We all have it.  You, right now have the potential to practice this magic.  And you do have to practice. Are you wondering what this magic is? Here’s a definition of magic I LOVE: The craft of creating change (or a change in consciousness) that is in alignment with you higher self. It's creating change, transformation, learning, growing and overcoming-what ever you want to call it.  It's releasing habits and limiting ways of thinking that are holding you back. How do you know what your Higher Self wants, desires or even knows?  You learn to listen and see the signs of synchronicity and blessing that are saying—“Yup, you’re going the right way.”  You ask to learn and know the next steps, the best choice, the truth that is within and ready to be brought into being.  You are always on the lookout for the signs, the feelings, the gentle nudges that are helping you create a path within and without so that you are living the desires of your Higher Self. Why would I want to do that? So that you grow and learn.  That is what we came here to do.  To create and do on this physical plane.  To overcome past weaknesses, hurts, fears, beliefs and to help others do their work too. So, Boss Lady, are you using your magic to grow your business and your life? Are you checking in with your Higher Self to see if you’re in step and making the leaps to grow and use all your potential? OR Are you not? Are you just trying to survive, to get the basics done, to not rock the boat? How [...]

building your pride

Have you lost your pride?  Now I have you thinking of it one way...but what if I mean it a totally different way?  What if I was talking about your tribe, your peeps, your fam, your gal pals? How close are they lately?  How much do you support each other?  How much do you BUILD each other up?  And in what ways? Do you have each others' backs?  Would you go into the hunt with them?  Are they the kin that can hold space for you in the ickiest of times? Why am I talking about hunting, peeps and pride?  Have you noticed my BOSS Lady friend?  The lioness has been a companion of mine in my healing work and in my personal growth work for quite some time.  She is the ultimate protector, hunter, loyal, fierce, smart, nurturing matriarch.  She is the BOSS of the PRIDE (a group of lions).  I love to tap into that feeling, that image, that vibration when I need a boost of courage and strength to reach for more, to overcome fear and to feel the strength to keep going.  She rules the pride with a fierce yet loving strength. That's how I view all of you in this Pride.  This Pride full of woman bosses, mothers, creators and dreamers who are reaching, healing, growing and creating more for their life and business.  Women embodying this lioness.  Fierce, loyal, strong, loving, nurturing and courageous hunters. I hope (with all my heart) that I can inspire and support you to be that lioness.  To have power, passion and purpose in your life.  When you have these things--all the other stuff falls more easily into place.   You know the answers.  You know your boundaries.  You know the decision that is in alignment with you and where [...]

The Boss Lady who just gives it away…who me?

When you want to help people and you know you can give them insight, tools or healing that can improve their lives in awesome ways, then it becomes a challenge to know when it is appropriate to share this.  As a boss lady...hopefully the lines are more clear. BUT sometimes there's the potential for you (well, me...let's be honest) to want to just give it all away.  I was in a real quandary the other day... I had a meeting set up to do a no cost discovery session over Skype.  I looked over the challenges and needs my boss lady friend was having and through some intuitive work with the Tarot cards I came up with some really great information and ways she could start to get some clarity and the best tools for her to start to get some relief with.  Awesome!  So ready to share it and to offer my continued assistance as she did this big work for her and her business. BUT we didn't get to connect to that day.  I won't lie.  I was disappointed.  Let down.  And although I understand why the connection didn't happen...I wanted to send all the insights and tools and everything in an email to her anyway.  I wanted to send it to her because it was super relevant, super clear and super valuable.  It would have given her ideas on how to approach those challenges and why they are up for her right now.  Would it be okay just to send it, maybe it could still have the same effect for her...? BUT is this a smart way for me honor the services of my business, to value my self, to value my energy, to value my work...or am I just giving it a way?  Duh, it would [...]

top 12 energy zapping ways of a boss lady

We all have habits, practices and systems that we fall back on when we get stressed, frustrated or overwhelmed. Hopefully, most of them contribute to bringing us in to balance and health so that we are ready to tackle the next project, but truthfully...many of them just mask the problem.  As boss ladies who want to not only be successful, but also be healthy, strong and passionate for all the other things we dream of doing in our lives and in our biz we need a foundation that reflects our passion, power and purpose.  It should be a foundation that allows you to master your best asset-YOU! Here are the top energy zappers that many boss ladies fall victim to: Over-giving of your time and energy. Not establishing boundaries for you and for your biz.  What's okay, what's not? How much time and when?  How much money? Who to let in? Not honoring these set boundaries.  You have to practice.  No compromises. Not connecting to your inner source (force) for guidance support.  Your energy system, your essence, your intuition and your truth. Not having a ridiculous self-care routine.  Healthy foods, good sleep, relaxation, body and energy care (reiki, meditation, massage, chakra exercises, etc.) Using food, caffeine, drugs, alcohol, shopping, binge TV watching and other not-so-healthy indulgences or addictions to supposedly replenish and return to balance. Feeling overly responsible for others work, process or efforts. Continuing to use practices, systems or products that aren't in alignment with your inner essence, truth and knowing (your inner drop) OR sustainable. Not having a clear image of the passion and purpose of your biz and your role in it. Sacrificing your energy when you know will suffer from it. Ie. Using yourself too much, instead of finding other solutions. Not having a lusciously full [...]

tell me truths

[originally written for Sibyl Magazine June 2016] I say some pretty horrendous things, some totally untrue things and some downright nasty things to myself.  I’m sure I see some heads nodding in understanding out there.  Why do we say these hurtful things to our beautiful hearts?   Very often I’m not consciously aware of them.  They are so far in the background, like a tape just running on loop, I don’t even hear them.  I AM developing more awareness, so I am beginning to hear them more and more.  The awesome thing is that then I can unpack the story I’m telling myself and then, and only then can I begin heal and grow beyond that limiting belief that was lurking in the background.   I totally shocked myself the other day.  I was planning and setting goals--big goals and plans—and I heard myself say, “It won’t work.”  WHAT?!  How dare I sabotage myself even before getting it off the ground.   What did I do?  I used my tools. I practice affirmations, manifesting intentions and goals and I work with the cycles of the moon to support these.  I say clearly what I want.  When I hear a negative thought I say, “NO” and reinforce that which I DO want.  I also work with my tarot cards to get support and insight into what is behind the negative thought or a different way of seeing how to proceed.  This gives me a deeper understanding and guidance.  I have also started using “I AM” statements.  Powerful combatants to that negative self-talk and limiting beliefs.  “I AM a healer.”  “I AM in control of my time.”  I AM healthy and strong.”  “I AM manifesting platforms for abundance.” I have a morning practice as well listing what I am grateful for and [...]

what to do when nothing looks rosy

Have you been feeling it too? It’s like all the light has dimmed in my little world and it is making me cranky and feeling down. Argh! Is it because Mercury (and like a jillion other planets-read more about the astrology here) are in retrograde this month? Is it the extra anxiety around putting myself out there and desiring to go BIGGER? Is it the sudden death of a friend? Is it the extra sensitivity I’m feeling…seemingly around all the most vulnerable and delicate parts of myself? It is like I’m just tired of all the wanting and nothing coming in… (the little drop inside just asked me, “is this true?” I answer, “NO, just discouraged a bit.”) No, No and NO! It is not true. I don’t desire to continue to play small and not put myself out there. I know that all the internal questioning and integration of what’s going on both in the world and in me will help me grow stronger. (Retrogrades are a time to look internally and get insight.) How do I know this? Because, Dear One, I am an active participant in creating my luscious life. No matter how beat up, discouraged, cranky and disappointed I feel right now, I know that I have tools to help me learn from the challenges that are coming up. The jumble and chaos of life can try to throw you off your game. I say there is always a lesson from the chaos and when you don’t let it dismantle your strength, courage and spirit you can see clearly what is going on externally and not have it crush you. Your strong center and personal energy is your super power. When I feel like nothing is working, nothing is going my way, when I make a [...]

this boss lady made unwise choices

Cranky. Snappy. Mean. Depressed. Angry. Emotions I was choosing to let run the show. Did I have 'good' reasons for choosing these emotions? Possibly.  Did I feel I had choice back then?  Absolutely NOT! I was the boss lady of a busy restaurant.  With all the staff issues, long hours, long weeks, instant drama & over-indulgent habits & patterns that typically go hand in hand with this biz. I managed to pull out more appropriate emotions & behaviors most of the time.  I found the energy I needed from somewhere deep down to show up & get the job done.  But even that source began to get harder & harder to tap.  It was running dry from the constant use & no replenishment.  So the 'bad' stuff crept up more often...and  I used more excuses & indulgences to cope with it. Sounds a bit manic, doesn't it? Looking back it was.  I was. BUT I've so much compassion & love for that person.  She did her best at the time, she taught me a ton & she was 'good' at the job. But as you can see...I didn't FEEL good.  I was tired, stressed, achy beyond my years, no energy & no way to refill my well- to dig out- to get back on top of it.  To be me. One of my big A-Ha's around this issue of choosing to act on emotions like this is that I began to hear myself tell myself excuses for the bad behavior towards others or myself.  For example, if I was cranky with someone I would hear myself say, 'You did that because you're not feeling well.'  Or 'I haven't eaten yet, so I have a right to act like that."  Or 'I haven't had a day off in 10 days, so [...]